he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize