This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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