I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
