I just pynch a tree in the face
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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