the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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