i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
