you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
