There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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