get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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