So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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