I must be too annoying 4 u.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
