I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
