i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
