Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
