Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
