Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
