Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
