we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
