Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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