Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
