Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
