she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
