I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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