never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
