yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
