Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
