What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
