Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
