That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
