She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
