3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
