are you still at the devil's house?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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