I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
