She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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