I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
