I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
