I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
