and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
