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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're upset about this?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  well apparently not.

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• (916): View more from California

  We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  "Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left

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• (516): View more from New York

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown

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