3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do vagina's smell?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
