ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
