You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Houston, we have a blender
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
