He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
