are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
