Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
