What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
