Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
