Me too!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
