well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
