Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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